Perhaps treating people the way you want to be treated doesn’t mean doing the things for them, that you would want someone to do for you.
Perhaps it means doing for them, what they need. The same way you’d want someone to do for you, what you need.
Perhaps it means understanding and respecting what is important to them, even if it’s not important to you; because if the tables were turned, you would want the same.
We should not learn about and understand love languages so that we can best tell people how we like to be loved. Instead, we should learn about and understand love languages so that we can best learn how to love others, they way they want to be loved.
The need for us to be fluent in love is not so that we can find the best way to be loved but rather, how best we can love.